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Tag Archives: work

191/365+ proof of God’s love

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I like to be busy. I’ve been experiencing a lot of physical pain lately and it would be worse, because I’d be thinking about it, if I weren’t busy. In the distractions of lots to do, I feel God’s love.

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168/365+ proof of God’s love

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Becoming ill on a day that was to have been busy was not fun – is not fun – but I see God’s love in warding off the illness until the weekend, so that I would not miss work.

158/365+ proof of God’s love

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A busy workday was just what I needed to keep me awake today, my long day at work and, on this particular Wednesday, a day after a night spent reading into the wee hours of the morn.  In the busy-ness of the day, I find God’s love.

102/365+ proof of God’s love


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It’s been a rough week.  I won’t lie and say I’m feeling like little Miss Sunshine, full of hope… I’m glad that I don’t have to always pretend I’m happy to earn God’s love, or I’d never get it!  I worked a long day and since I’ve been home, for almost two hours now, someone has been whining or crying and I’m just tired.  However, the sun shone bright today, I had a productive day at work and I know that even when I feel hopeless, there is always hope – I know this and am comforted.  In this knowledge that supercedes emotion, God’s love is apparent to me.

Day 90/365 photos


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This is the bulletin board I look upon as I work every day, Monday through Friday.  On it are several photos of the blessings I count every day.

Let’s Just Say Your Intentions are GOOD


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To anyone reading my blog who knows me in “real-life” I make this plea:  Leave your intentions, or motives or whatever (& I’ll even give you the benefit of the doubt & say those intentions were good, the motives pure) at home, just as I go to work every day & do my job, quite well if I do say so myself, and keep my issues separate just as well as anyone else I know.  Remarkable for someone as disturbed as I am, isn’t it?  (Oops, sorry, there is a little bitter sarcasm, but I’m at home right now & last I checked, off the clock)

So.  Just do me this favor.  Respect me enough as a human being if you’re so concerned, instead of talking ABOUT me, try talking TO ME!  I’m not one of your consumers so you probably don’t need to have a consult about my “case” – rest assured, I’m doing what I need to do to take care of myself!

Pills in my hand & down the hatch

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My hand is empty now.  In about seven hours, it will fill with nine pills to swallow, two for anxiety, three for diabetes, one for depression, one for pain (don’t worry, just ibuprofen), one for high blood pressure and one for something the details of which I’m not getting into here and now, as I’m awaiting test results.

The pills concerning me now are those for depression & anxiety.  I’m not sure whether they are working or not.  I thought they were, but since I’ve been physically sick and in pain the past few days, I begin to feel paranoid.  Mostly this concerns my job and, quite honestly, I’ve often felt paranoid about my  job over the last five years or so.  It’s rather uncomfortable.  It causes me to lose sleep.  Faking a smile all day is a means to an end, because I must provide for my family, but how well am I really providing if all I’ve left to give of myself at the end of the day is frustration and paranoia? 

So, again, maybe it’s all me, maybe the meds aren’t working.  Or maybe I’ve reason to fear.  Or maybe a combination of both.  I only know it’s exhausting and I don’t like myself much when I feel this way.

At any rate, I’ll talk to my doctor, perhaps try something else and perhaps it will allow me to just go to work and do the job I know I do well without the sense of dread that has been filling me for so long.