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Just some awful thoughts I can’t keep in

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Some people seem to want me to be ashamed of myself for having bipolar disorder, thinking I should hide it from the world. Some think if I have a problem I should always keep it to myself. Some think they are better than I am because I don’t have money. Some think because I’m not perfect, I’m not a Christian. Some think, well whatever they think, and I’m trying not to care but I feel like there is no one on this earth who understands. I feel so alone. I feel betrayed. I feel hurt… oh but shhhh, there I go again, being open. Why do I bother? Maybe all of those someones are right and I’m worthless because I’m poor and mentally ill and not perfect. I’m just too exhausted to care anymore! I don’t want all this hurt, all this worry. I need a break.

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One response »

  1. I know how you feel, I have been in similar situations. Early in our walk with God, people close to us would say things like, how can you be a Christian with YOUR past? And it was always so hurtful and it still is sometimes. But keep your eyes on God and all His promises for you. A year ago I was homeless and didn’t have two nickels to rub together. But now I am a homeowner and have more than enough, because I kept my eyes on God. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

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